You can see it now-

Clear as day…

The long, ardous road that lies ahead.

The work that towers above your head like a massive tsunami,

About to crash down and break your already whiplashed neck, along with your body

Things are going wrong, people aren’t doing their fucking jobs, people aren’t buying.

It’s early in the game still and yet you’re already experiencing “the fear”

Ah, yes…

The fear.

That gargantuan monster that hides underneath your bed

Whispering in your ear unrelenting destruction

They’ll all double over in laughter when you fail, you fucking stupid mother fucker what were you thinking

Who were you to open your fucking mouth

This whole house of cards is about to crash down on everything you think is going to work

It’s useless to continue, you need to stop right where you are and go back while you still have a chance

Quit while you are ahead you stupid bastard

You’re later than everyone else to the party

You’re too fucking old

Remember when you made fun of your buddy Nassiff?

Looks whose talking now.

Look who the washed up loser is now…

And besides-

There’s not enough to go around, everything has been picked apart long before you got here…

Always late to the party.

You fucked around too long, buddy.

You waited too long to make your move.

You fucked up too much as a kid, and now here you are attempting the unthinkable.

They’re not going to like what you say, in fact you’re saying it all wrong.

You’re going to offend everyone.

You’ve got an attitude problem.

You don’t really have decent enough social skills…

Your body language is kind of fucked up.

You send fucked up signals.

You have no shot at this, you’ll end up right back where you started…

Only ever halfway achieving anything.

You’ve never made that much money to begin with, and you probably never will.

Just remember-you can’t say that.

What will that person think when they see what you’ve wrote?

You haven’t really ever accomplished shit, in fact you’ve had a lot of help

If it weren’t for them, you wouldn’t be shit… Remember that

You don’t speak well

You don’t sound good on camera… you say “uhh” and “uhm” too much

You look like shit, you need to get a haircut and shave

You need a watch, you need a car to show off.

How the fuck you gonna tell someone how to handle their business when you don’t even have an exotic

You’re running out of funds, you better hope somebody let’s your broke ass stay with them.

You need to wait until you’ve had more training before you attempt this

They’re going to bring up shit from your past

Your family is going to think you are crazy; they won’t like what you say

Your old friends will call you lame… they know the real you

Maybe you’ll end up losing it all and end up back where you came from, back where you belong

You never changed, the things you say and do are bullshit anyways

It’s all bullshit, you haven’t learned a damn thing

People will think you are weird, you need to be quiet and dial it back a little

You’re too intense, people won’t respond well to that

You should do what everyone else is doing if you want to make it

You should go copy someone elses shit, do something that’s already proven

You’re going to lose it all, everything you have worked for

You’re going to let a lot of people down

You’ll be searching for places to sleep after it’s said and done with

What the fuck did you do with the property you had? You sold it for what?

You stupid mother fucker you lost it all

You keep doing the same things over and over again expecting different results… you are insane

You have never finished anything, what makes you think you’re going to finish this?

You fucking loser

You’re too lazy.

You’re writing is okay, but will it bring in buyers? NO

Can you close the deal? NO

It’s pathetic that you keep trying when you know deep down inside that you will not finish this shit

You’ve only barely ever made it past six figures a year you garbage mother fucker what do you think you’re trying to do

The other guys work 10 times harder than you do

They know 10x as much as you do

They have 10x the life experience you do and they’ve ready 10x the books you have

They have 10x the friends you do and 10x the power

They have 10x the audience and 10x the personality

You are fucking late, as I said before.

You’re staying up late spinning your wheels and wasting time for what?

Remember when you made it to Vice President?

You fucking failed at that.

Epic fail, my man.

Eppppic fail.

You couldn’t handle being in a managerial position what the fuck makes you think you’re going to be able to pull this off you garbage mother fucker

Yeah, you’re good at tech but so are a million other people

You never made salesman of the month.

In fact, you’ve never won a single fucking award except a green participation ribbon you snowflake mother fucker.

All you’ve ever done is helped others achieve their own greatness, the greatness that they so rightfully deserve.

And you… you…

Just look at you, over here with your fucking bullshit.

Talking about life is a game that you’re playing…

Well, mother fucker, if that’s the case then you are LOSING.

Keep joking around, keep laughing about it, it’s all going to be real funny when your ass is at the Sack N Save.

Or the poor house, maybe you’ll need to get food stamps, maybe you’ll need to get one of those new Trump meals coming out.

I can’t wait until they turn the lights out.

It’s going to be back to the roaches for you, roach boy.

Maybe get you a nice trailer somewhere in Seagoville, Texas.

Watch out for the tornadoes, bitch.

As you grow old, and decrepit, and watch your fucking pipe dreams die as you grow wrinkly as your fucking balls.

Maybe you’ll pick up a pipe, maybe you’ll start smoking meth again.

Maybe that’s what your true destiny is, maybe that’s what you “programmed

Maybe this is karma, for all the fucked up shit you’ve done in your life, did you ever think of that outcome?

Getting so close to success that you could smell the sweat on it’s balls only to be kicked in the fucking teeth and brought back down to reality.

Kicked in the face like you got in kicked in prison and realizing that you aren’t shit

That’s another thing

All your clients will leave when they realize what a watered down version of stewman you are

The Dr. Thunder version of one of the greats

Have you ever won a fight in your life

Or do you keep getting your ass beat time and time and time again

You just didn’t measure up, you couldn’t win like you thought you could.

It’s okay.

There are other things you can do to make some kind of money…

Not much in the way of true success, but you’ll end up somewhere around mediocrity

Maybe just enough to exist and take some xanax to numb your thoughts

Maybe you can get back into drinking, maybe that shit will numb your tortured soul

Why do you want it so bad anyways?

Why do you think you’re destined for it?

Why do you think you’re so goddamned fucking special?

What do you think this is, some kind of movie where you’re the lead role and you have some special outcome?

This is the shit that my mind tells me every day.

I don’t have it any easier than anyone else, I have it the same and most likely worse than many.

My choice is to not listen to it.

My choice is to get up every morning and write something different in my journal.

My decision is to take it, and convert it into energy.

I know it’s a lie because I’ve been dealing with it my whole life.

Every day there are two voices that I must deal with.

One telling me that I can, and one telling me that I cannot.

The one that tells me I can’t has been deeply programmed in my subconscious day in and day out by various sources of negativity over the course of my entire life.

The news, haters, music, the opposition…

But mostly, by my own self-doubt.

Along this journey, I’ve learned to trust in myself.

And trust that if I keep typing these words and pressing send, the message will continue get through to the universe.

I will be able to reprogram this whole fucking system, and change the outcome for not only myself, but everyone around me, and make some kind of difference.

Because, more than money and fame and all the other bullshit, I really want to change a life.

I want someone to believe that they are not alone, that people aren’t just saying that shit.

So I present to you…

Real shit.

And I will always present real shit to you, no matter where I am on this planet, no matter how far down a shithole I’ve gone.

I will continue to dig until I find diamonds and I will never stop

I remain 100% certain, despite these circumstances

100% certain, always and forever

We are the 100%

Wake The Fuck Up
And Free Your Mind

    1 Response to "WINNING THE BATTLE AGAINST YOUR OLD SELF"

    • Avatar Corina

      From one former meth head to another. Chills.

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