I remember when I first picked up that first Tony book.
I was a prisoner of the mind and a prisoner of the state.
The only thing I’d been reading in my two years of incarceration were authors like Stephen King books and Louis L’amour.
I’d been venturing to these other worlds on a daily basis, taking down these fantasies sometimes consuming entire books in a day; escaping the potato sack sheets I was sweating on in the packed dorm that always reaked of feet and tension.
My folders were full of writing, letters, ideas and art — all awaiting their liberation into a new world where I hoped they might assist me in some measure of monetary success.
At the time I picked up that book, I didn’t know how close to the end I was… Only a few more months and I would be a free man, even though I thought I had at least three more years.
One day at the library, I ventured off past the fantasy, kept going beyond the jerk-off books (Side note: there’s no porn in Texas prisons anymore, only womens romance novels, which is an exercise in the imagination and also helpful in understanding the fucked up irrational mind of a woman), and made my way on to the self-help section, intending to try something different.
Thinking about it now, something just propelled me towards it; that something inside of US that makes us different from everyone else.
That glitch; that one iteration of myself in an infinite amount that just happened to have that idea at that particular moment.
The changes and the breadcrumbs left by our higher selves bringing us out of shit holes of the mind that we happened to be experiencing during our time as mortals.
There it was; and I picked it up just looking at the title:
Awaken The Giant Within
How to take immediate control of your mental, emotional, physical and financial destiny.
That’s all I knew about it; I saw the cover, the words, and that I was going to read the shit right after my morning constitutional.
Little did I know, that book would be the first steps to make the shift for me.
Once I started to read the book, I went from watching football, Maury (maurys cameramen will chase your ass all the way home just to see you cry), Reba, and curiously observing the retarded discourse of prison politics, to the genesis of a transformation.
From a 23 year old violent, thief, robber, dope fiend coward to whatever the goddamned martian fucking hell I am right now.
Someone that inspires people – or at least tries to – instead of having lost all faith in them… A person that lives inside of integrity and fully inside the truth.
Someone that believes in magic, and a world of design.
Most of all, someone that achieves their ends fully through their message and art, rather than selling out for anything less.
I remember everything about the moment I grabbed that book.
I didn’t know anything about Tony, I didn’t know any of his accolades; I just picked it up and started reading.
One page, to the next page, and then the next page.
The chapters would tell me to do some visualizations exercise, and I would do it.
It told me to internalize some shit, so I did.
It made me feel powerful and showed me ways to escape any prison using only my mind; and a few months later, something amazing happened in my life: My physical body was given it’s freedom out of nowhere.
And that was it; I was hooked.
I was attached to the man and his message, and will always feel connected to him like an old friend, even though I’ve never met him.
I’ve spent several thousands of dollars with him, and continue to follow him even though I’m on another level with my shit at this point.
He set the foundation for me to seek out other mentors and invest with them, and I still do to this day.
Some of them have huge followings, others are just barely getting started and have an even smaller following than I do.
Most of the people I follow do not appear to have an incredible amount of material wealth. Most of them do not have a best-selling book.
None of them, however, are peddling the same cookie cutter marketing strategies that so many people others are pushing.
For a while, I would buy from those people.
I would buy all the latest gadgets and gizmos and templates and programs…
Then one day I realized everyone was selling the same shit.
The same “tricks” to make money by being anything but yourself…
The thing is, despite what all the teachers may have said and what some people will tell you about me, I’m not a stupid mother fucker.
I’m not a blind follower.
I don’t have to be tricked into staying in contact with someone.
I will find out what they have going on if I want to, and I will buy what they are selling if I vibe.
I can tell when someone hiding something and presenting some Dr. Thunder version of themselves to the world in order to make a living for some construct with no soul in it.
All of that comes out on camera; that’s the real reason people are scared of public speaking.
They don’t want you to get a glimpse of the mongoloid they’ve kept locked in the basement all these years…
They’d rather just send you some filtered pics of the fascade.
Put their soul on the chopping block?
The people I now follow are 100% selling their own art and message, and that is inspiring as fuck to me.
I even follow my own clients (shocker!).
The thing is, you gotta believe that your message is ENOUGH.
It’s enough for a guy like me who will go the end of the goddamned planet and slay a dragon to get a glimpse of my higher self, and if I believe that you’ve got a way to connect me to that; then we are calibrated.
You gotta understand something here; I’m not trying to make a couple of bucks and buy a couple of flashy cars here.
I’m trying to live my best goddamned life; tasting it is not good enough for me I want to FUCK IT.
I want to BE IT because I AM IT.
This is my simulation, and I create things from it from time to time that require the guidance of people connected to places that I cannot quite access yet.
These may include certain heightened levels of magic, astral travel or interactions with gods and demons.
It’s part of my gameplay.
Everyone has a role to play, even the NPCs that sit around blindly copying each other while WE create our own worlds and experiences that THEY could never be a part of.
Tragic, but part of the fun.
And yes, here I am as well, somewhere in the middle of all of this, telling you that you’re making this all up in your head and that you are inside a simulation.
Your imaginary friend.
That’s my message, so fuck with it, or don’t.
Most won’t, because I’m not for everyone and I never fucking want to be.
My message is enough for me and those that are calibrated with it’s circuitry, in the same way that yours is enough for you.
It’s all you need, and you know damn well that this is the absolute truth.
Even if deep down, you know this is true.
It’s been dying to escape since the day you learned to speak and understand, and then allowed society to convince you to hide it.
Freedom is releasing the message, selling the message, FISTING the message, doing whatever you want with the message as long as you are doing SOMETHING with the message.
It is your truest power in this reality and the next.